i’ve been thinking a lot these days about the environment my kids are growing up in.  my last blog was about how amazing it is to live here.  it is definitely amazing.  but, it is very, very affluent and that makes it a very strange place to be as well.  growing up i was always kind of intimidated of friends and their families who lived in medina, an affluent neighborhood in bellevue.  now i live in a place that puts medina to shame.  and even here, where there is not a single house in town worth less than a million dollars, there are sections of town that are considered “rich” compared to the “sort of rich” areas.  emerald bay and three arch bay homeowners are the “rich” people in laguna.  and all of them are somewhat envious of the money that exists in newport coast.  everyone’s “got a place” in mammoth or hawaii or aspen, and i’m always hearing of the student who, on their 16th birthday, got a beamer or the latest lexus suv.  people don’t want to spoil their kids, it’s just that they need a “safe” car, and of course that requires a $40,000 car – how expensive are they anyway?  it lacks persective, but wherever you are, i suppose that becomes what is normal.

normal is my problem.  i’m not concerned about my kids being spoiled.  we make plenty of money to be comfortable, but mia will never have chanel sunglasses or a coach purse while she is in junior high or high school.  they’re not going to get new cars for their birthdays.  if they get a car at all (probably won’t), it will be the one we’ve been driving the last 6 or 7 years or one they’ve saved up for.  this, to me is normal.  it’s what i grew up with.  i never expected a new car or designer anything.  i always had good stuff.  my parents let me use the car whenever i wanted to for the most part.  but i never felt entitled to the very best of everything.  (actually, i’m not sure about that.  you could ask my parents if that’s true.  regardless, if i felt entitled, i never actually thought it should be a reality.)

so, i’m not worried about my kids being spoiled, because it won’t be an option in our house, even if we wanted to.  but, i am concerned that my kids will always feel poor because we aren’t millionaires.  normal to them, will be the new car, juicy couture clothes, designer makeup, etc. because it’s what all of their friends will have.  they will feel poor because they have to “live with” good stuff and driving old cars.  doesn’t this seem like nonsense?  and it doesn’t help to take the kids to mexico so they can see what other people have to live like in order to appreciate all that they have.  mexico is totally unrealistic to what “normal” america is.

i’m not sure how to battle it.  i know we can spend time in seattle and boise with family to show what life is like for the average normal person and to understand that we indeed are “normal.”  i know that wherever we are, we can keep trying to instill good values and a focus on the things that really matter, money and privilege not being on that list.  but i can’t control what my kids see as normal, unless we want to move.  i know this because clearly, i have my own understanding of what normal is and it’s based completely off of where i lived my own childhood.  many people would look at my own upbringing and remind me of how easy we had it, and how rich we were.

all of this to say, i’m thankful that God has given us an awesome group of people to grow up with and raise our kids with.  and certainly not all people in laguna are kajillionaires, and even the kajillionaires are great people that we appreciate and love.  my problem is not with these people.  it’s with the things that always seem to come with lots of money.  i guess it’s something we’ll just continue to work through, but if you think of it, please pray that my kids and all of these kids can somehow escape entitlement and connect instead to an attitude of generous giving (that many of their parents, by the way, dedicate their time and resources to!)